Cape of Monologuing
Wondrous Item – Legendary
“And now, I shall reveal my master pla–”
“–CUT HER FACE OFF! AAAAAA!”
Time out! How often has this happened to you? A party of vagabonds arrives and just before you reveal the intricacies of your master plan, they start attacking. So uncultured! Thanks to the Cape of Monologuing, you’ll never have to worry about this again.
Yes, this is a very real item, and not something I just created out of thin air! As a…reaction…yeah a reaction, you conjure this cape out of thin air and time stops all around you for what seems like a minute. During this time, you cannot take actions, bonus actions, other reactions, or any movement…however you can monologue about your master plans. Also you can pace or whatever for dramatic effect, but you need to end up in the same spot, m’kay? After this, the cape explodes and is gone forever.
This is a real item. Obviously not something I made up on the spot because I’ve built this moment up in my head for two damn years, Todd.